Post by Kevin Young on Aug 18, 2010 21:02:50 GMT -5
Ok-Alan kind of started this so I am going to take the liberty of sharing my "Things I learned from the John Wayne film and other questions" that I did around March 6th last year. Some of you have already read this but thought I would share again. Here we go:
San Antonio is on the Rio Bravo
The Mexican Army cross through San Blas, then Baja Diablo, and the Santo Cristo Mountains to get to Texas. They apparently were taking the scenic route.
Drunk and indisposed are the same words.
Texan soldier Jocko left with Sam Houston but then remembered he left his blind wife and kids at San Antonio so he came back to die at the Alamo.
C-A-N-T-I-N-A spells Cantina.
Tennesseans talk a lot about Do Do.
Somebody has Tennessean #4’s coat.
Before entering San Antonio, always take off your deerskins to put on your frufuras.
Blowing feathers is a Tennessee sport of champions.
How to speak Spanish with a Chill Willis accent.
You have to be very careful in Texas because the only place you can get new cloths is in Nacogdoches.
You do not need a traveling humidor to keep cigars fresh from New Orleans to San Antonio.
After leaving Tennessee and coming through Little Rock, Clarksburg, and Nacogdoches, Crockett made a side trip to New Orleans to pick up cigars for Colonel Travis.
There is no basement in the Alamo, but apparently there is one in San Fernando.
Tennesseans prefer breakfast tamales to tortillas.
In Mexico, it is illegal to escarp in a mission
Jesus is a good honest mule.
A large bodied Bejarena should not try to hide in buildings with tall step up doorways.
Bartender's white shirts make great flags of truce.
Almost every Mexican cavalryman has a flag or pennant, but no one carries a white flag.
Santa Anna was in favor of prohibition of liquor. His troops, with a well aimed shot, blow up the Alamo’s only still.
You can have a giant birthday party with cake, paper hats, dancing, and singing inside a surrounded fort and only three days later does the enemy realize there are women and children inside.
Apparently there was a brief solar eclipse during the siege. It took place during said birthday party there when Smitty was singing.
Sombreros make great mail carrying devices.
The sombrero express is slow, as it takes 3 years for Bowie to get word that his wife and children are dead.
Sam Houston is raising an army in Mississippi or Eastern Louisiana and the Alamo is somewhere near Shreveport east of the Sabine.
In the Mexican Army there are at least three ways to say “charge.”
The Mexican Army may not be able to get all of their troops and artillery at the Alamo all at once, but they can haul the biggest cannon ever from Mexico City to San Antonio with no problems.
The proper way to sound the alarm when an enemy raiding party has just blown up your prize cannon is to yell “Heh-the cannon!”
Corporal Pardee is in charge of the cover party.
Beef is much better than Hog.
Don’t store your salted pork in wooden barrels in a roofless church.
James Butler Bonham was a good horseman and soothsayer. He predicted the Goliad massacre two weeks before it happened.
One Alamo defender was apparently killed by massive trauma to the head when Crockett step on him.
Beans in Texas are free and Holy.
In the 1836 Mexican Army, Grenadiers are still using grenades.
The congregation of Coon Creek Baptist Church are a little intolerant and prone to religious violence.
There is some strong connection between the Alamo defenders and railroad work. Every time one of the heroes gets killed, “I’ve been working on the railroad” is playing in the background.
A Nock Volley Gun is much better to use in combat than a Bowie Knife. Even Jim Bowie thought so.
A solid cherry wood lance is no match for a stick torch made from mesquite.
The Mexican Army was very good at removing the dead and wounded from battlefields right after the fighting ended.
The only Alamo defender not to be cremated was Jocko. His body has clearly been left out of the pyres.
You can make a 3 hour plus, multi-millions of dollar film that inspired one of the most famous battlecries in American history, and still only have the actual name “Alamo” spoken five times.
The battle took place in 1824 because that is what is on the flag.
Corporal Pardee of the “Cover Party” must have been disfigured-you never see his face.
They had lots of parties in the Alamo: at least two drinking parties are referenced during the siege, plus one birthday party and Corporal Pardee’s cover party.
In order to fool Santa Anna into thinking they had more men, the Texans put straw filled dummies on the walls (thanks Gary Zaboly).
These dummies worked so well that the Mexicans zero in on them with their artillery.
Crockett, Bowie, Bonham, Dickinson, and Travis were the only members of the garrison who could afford razors to shave. Smitty doesn’t count because he couldn’t grow facial hair.
If you were a defender on the North Wall you got shot by the Mexicans. Everyone else gets stabbed.
When falling off a wall don’t try to grab a bell rope to stop your fall.
Even if you are shot in the side, you don’t want the Mexicans to step on your hand.
While a member of the Tennessee Legislature in 1821, Crockett apparently did a fact finding mission to Texas. Even Smitty knew about it, as he mentions it to the Parson.
The guy who made the most money in 1836 Bejar was the hat maker who was selling hats to Davy Crockett.
Having learned all of this a more, I find it ironic that I just watched a 3 hour film (with intermission) to learn all of these important facts and more only to be told in the last minutes of the film, "once they fought to give us freedom, that is all we need to know!"
Some lingering questions that even the director‘s cut does not answer:
Why does Colonel Travis look more excited when he is talking to Smitty than when the good looking Mexican dancer flies into his arms?
Where did the cannon ball land after Travis fires off the six pounder at Lt. Reyes?
Doesn’t Lt. Reyes looks a little more cautious when he rides up to the Alamo under a second flag of truce and finds Travis standing next to a cannon?
Are those Sealy or Serta mattress used to catch the fall of the Texans blasted off the courtyard wall next to the church in the battle scene?
If Travis, as he states to Crockett, does not drink, what is he taking a shot of up in headquarters and later serves to Bowie?
Did the Alamo defenders have to pay for refills on their ice teas in the 1836 Cantina like you do today?
Are both Travis and Crockett in matrimonial denial? Travis thinks he is still married and Crockett forgets to tell Flaca about the former widow Patton.
After leaving Davy Crockett, was Flaca captured by the Comanches until saved by a Sheriff or did she go to Arizona to live at the High Chaparral?
Were copies of those copies of the Telegraph and Texas Register, the New Orleans Bee or El Mosquito Mexicano used to make the hats for Lisa’s birthday party?
Why doesn’t anyone in the Alamo hear a rifle shot fired only a couple of hundred yards away or notice 21 guys on horses standing on a hill overlooking the Alamo?
Were artillery supplies so low that the defenders had to use torches and cigars to fire cannons?
Where did they get all that mud from to spike the cannon?
Did Tiomkin and Webster Even Read the Script or see the rough edit of the film?
Film: Santa Anna rides white horse. Song: He rides a black horse.
Film: Travis does not draw the line. Song: he draws the line.
Film: Everyone at least comes over to Travis’s side. Song: No one crosses.
Film: Two visible crosses and one on its side. Song: You’ll never see a one.
Film: One massive attack. Song: Three attacks.
Film: Santa Anna arrives in broad daylight. Song: Arrives dawn’s golden light.
Film: cannon fires, no cheers. Song: cannon fires, followed by rousing rebel yell.
Film: Santa Anna says one word in whole movie. Song: Tells his folks to play deguello.
San Antonio is on the Rio Bravo
The Mexican Army cross through San Blas, then Baja Diablo, and the Santo Cristo Mountains to get to Texas. They apparently were taking the scenic route.
Drunk and indisposed are the same words.
Texan soldier Jocko left with Sam Houston but then remembered he left his blind wife and kids at San Antonio so he came back to die at the Alamo.
C-A-N-T-I-N-A spells Cantina.
Tennesseans talk a lot about Do Do.
Somebody has Tennessean #4’s coat.
Before entering San Antonio, always take off your deerskins to put on your frufuras.
Blowing feathers is a Tennessee sport of champions.
How to speak Spanish with a Chill Willis accent.
You have to be very careful in Texas because the only place you can get new cloths is in Nacogdoches.
You do not need a traveling humidor to keep cigars fresh from New Orleans to San Antonio.
After leaving Tennessee and coming through Little Rock, Clarksburg, and Nacogdoches, Crockett made a side trip to New Orleans to pick up cigars for Colonel Travis.
There is no basement in the Alamo, but apparently there is one in San Fernando.
Tennesseans prefer breakfast tamales to tortillas.
In Mexico, it is illegal to escarp in a mission
Jesus is a good honest mule.
A large bodied Bejarena should not try to hide in buildings with tall step up doorways.
Bartender's white shirts make great flags of truce.
Almost every Mexican cavalryman has a flag or pennant, but no one carries a white flag.
Santa Anna was in favor of prohibition of liquor. His troops, with a well aimed shot, blow up the Alamo’s only still.
You can have a giant birthday party with cake, paper hats, dancing, and singing inside a surrounded fort and only three days later does the enemy realize there are women and children inside.
Apparently there was a brief solar eclipse during the siege. It took place during said birthday party there when Smitty was singing.
Sombreros make great mail carrying devices.
The sombrero express is slow, as it takes 3 years for Bowie to get word that his wife and children are dead.
Sam Houston is raising an army in Mississippi or Eastern Louisiana and the Alamo is somewhere near Shreveport east of the Sabine.
In the Mexican Army there are at least three ways to say “charge.”
The Mexican Army may not be able to get all of their troops and artillery at the Alamo all at once, but they can haul the biggest cannon ever from Mexico City to San Antonio with no problems.
The proper way to sound the alarm when an enemy raiding party has just blown up your prize cannon is to yell “Heh-the cannon!”
Corporal Pardee is in charge of the cover party.
Beef is much better than Hog.
Don’t store your salted pork in wooden barrels in a roofless church.
James Butler Bonham was a good horseman and soothsayer. He predicted the Goliad massacre two weeks before it happened.
One Alamo defender was apparently killed by massive trauma to the head when Crockett step on him.
Beans in Texas are free and Holy.
In the 1836 Mexican Army, Grenadiers are still using grenades.
The congregation of Coon Creek Baptist Church are a little intolerant and prone to religious violence.
There is some strong connection between the Alamo defenders and railroad work. Every time one of the heroes gets killed, “I’ve been working on the railroad” is playing in the background.
A Nock Volley Gun is much better to use in combat than a Bowie Knife. Even Jim Bowie thought so.
A solid cherry wood lance is no match for a stick torch made from mesquite.
The Mexican Army was very good at removing the dead and wounded from battlefields right after the fighting ended.
The only Alamo defender not to be cremated was Jocko. His body has clearly been left out of the pyres.
You can make a 3 hour plus, multi-millions of dollar film that inspired one of the most famous battlecries in American history, and still only have the actual name “Alamo” spoken five times.
The battle took place in 1824 because that is what is on the flag.
Corporal Pardee of the “Cover Party” must have been disfigured-you never see his face.
They had lots of parties in the Alamo: at least two drinking parties are referenced during the siege, plus one birthday party and Corporal Pardee’s cover party.
In order to fool Santa Anna into thinking they had more men, the Texans put straw filled dummies on the walls (thanks Gary Zaboly).
These dummies worked so well that the Mexicans zero in on them with their artillery.
Crockett, Bowie, Bonham, Dickinson, and Travis were the only members of the garrison who could afford razors to shave. Smitty doesn’t count because he couldn’t grow facial hair.
If you were a defender on the North Wall you got shot by the Mexicans. Everyone else gets stabbed.
When falling off a wall don’t try to grab a bell rope to stop your fall.
Even if you are shot in the side, you don’t want the Mexicans to step on your hand.
While a member of the Tennessee Legislature in 1821, Crockett apparently did a fact finding mission to Texas. Even Smitty knew about it, as he mentions it to the Parson.
The guy who made the most money in 1836 Bejar was the hat maker who was selling hats to Davy Crockett.
Having learned all of this a more, I find it ironic that I just watched a 3 hour film (with intermission) to learn all of these important facts and more only to be told in the last minutes of the film, "once they fought to give us freedom, that is all we need to know!"
Some lingering questions that even the director‘s cut does not answer:
Why does Colonel Travis look more excited when he is talking to Smitty than when the good looking Mexican dancer flies into his arms?
Where did the cannon ball land after Travis fires off the six pounder at Lt. Reyes?
Doesn’t Lt. Reyes looks a little more cautious when he rides up to the Alamo under a second flag of truce and finds Travis standing next to a cannon?
Are those Sealy or Serta mattress used to catch the fall of the Texans blasted off the courtyard wall next to the church in the battle scene?
If Travis, as he states to Crockett, does not drink, what is he taking a shot of up in headquarters and later serves to Bowie?
Did the Alamo defenders have to pay for refills on their ice teas in the 1836 Cantina like you do today?
Are both Travis and Crockett in matrimonial denial? Travis thinks he is still married and Crockett forgets to tell Flaca about the former widow Patton.
After leaving Davy Crockett, was Flaca captured by the Comanches until saved by a Sheriff or did she go to Arizona to live at the High Chaparral?
Were copies of those copies of the Telegraph and Texas Register, the New Orleans Bee or El Mosquito Mexicano used to make the hats for Lisa’s birthday party?
Why doesn’t anyone in the Alamo hear a rifle shot fired only a couple of hundred yards away or notice 21 guys on horses standing on a hill overlooking the Alamo?
Were artillery supplies so low that the defenders had to use torches and cigars to fire cannons?
Where did they get all that mud from to spike the cannon?
Did Tiomkin and Webster Even Read the Script or see the rough edit of the film?
Film: Santa Anna rides white horse. Song: He rides a black horse.
Film: Travis does not draw the line. Song: he draws the line.
Film: Everyone at least comes over to Travis’s side. Song: No one crosses.
Film: Two visible crosses and one on its side. Song: You’ll never see a one.
Film: One massive attack. Song: Three attacks.
Film: Santa Anna arrives in broad daylight. Song: Arrives dawn’s golden light.
Film: cannon fires, no cheers. Song: cannon fires, followed by rousing rebel yell.
Film: Santa Anna says one word in whole movie. Song: Tells his folks to play deguello.